I like my stuff. I’m not ready to get rid of it. I’m not up for a radical decluttering of my house. I may be closer to death than I used to be, but I’m not subjecting myself to a Swedish death cleaning any time soon.
Still, a lot of people I know are cleaning their closets. They are deaccessioning, as my ceramic artist friend puts it.
And I say, watch out.
That Decluttering Craze
The decluttering craze burst on the scene in 2011, with Marie Kondo’s book “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.” Kondo encouraged readers to get rid of anything in the house that “does not spark joy.” Her book sold millions.
A few years later, Margareta Magnusson’s “The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning” hit the bookstores, imploring the over-65 set to get rid of their stuff now — and spare their grieving heirs the anguish of sorting through a lifetime of accumulations.
Decluttering at My House
I have been thinking about my heirs in recent years. I have. I’ve been getting rid of stuff, bit by bit. I’ve been throwing it away and I’ve been donating it.
The one thing I have not been doing is giving it to people. Nobody wants my stuff, not the pristine Dooney & Bourke designer handbag that belonged to my mother. Not the cute stone-encrusted mini bag. Not my friends. Not my family.
But that doesn’t stop them from giving me their stuff.
Lately, a number of folks who’ve been getting older have sent things my way — a vintage Japanese Satsuma lamp from my older brother. A prayer book that belonged to a dear friend. A charming teapot from the artist friend who is deaccessioning her collection.
My younger brother had two framed prints shipped to me — at some expense — that used to hang in our childhood home. They were in poor condition and not to my taste, but they arrived on my doorstep one day, unannounced. Obviously, my brother didn’t have the heart to give the familiar old things away, so he sent them off to me. I didn’t have the heart to give them away either — until I’d tripped over them a few times and carted them off to the giveaway box in the garage.
These were beloved objects all — by me. But not necessarily by my heirs.
That’s why I will continue to do a little decluttering, from time to time, a little death cleaning here and there. But I’ll do that without the help of Kondo and Magnusson’s books. Those books would take up space on my bookshelf — space I want for my friend’s prayer book.
Read about the prayer book and my friend Beverly Rose at “When a Young Mother Dies.” As for my artist friend Nancy Selvin, more about her at “What I Really Want for My Birthday.”
“I haven’t even worn shirts with buttons in two years.” – Christina. That line made me crack up.
The best way that I’ve found to prevent clutter is to be very judicious about what is accepted into the house, which is a constant struggle I often lose.
Yeah. Resisting all that (seemingly) cool stuff that wants in the front door can be tough.
Take a look at Buy Nothing, a Facebook page that exists for the purpose of people giving things to other people. Valuable things, clothes, silly things, plants, new and old things, useful things, and highly unlikely things (I just received 8 left-handed garden gloves!) change hands every day.
There’s a Buy Nothing for every local neighborhood so that you don’t have to travel far (esp. with gas now nearly $6 a gallon!) to collect your gift. The limited geographical area of each group fosters community building and friendship making. You look at the listings, and if you want something, you post a comment saying so. The giver chooses if more than one person is interested, either randomly (spinning the Wheel of Names app, perhaps), or for any ol’ reason or none. It is NOT first come, first served. No payments or swaps are allowed.
The donor puts the thing outside on the porch for contactless pickup, and the donee is expected to get it within a day or two. There are few flakes, unlike on craigslist or NextDoor. What’s so nice is that BN helps you let go of things because you’re putting them into the hands of someone who loves them or can put them to use.
If you need something, you post an ISO (in search of), and people will fulfill your need. For example, I avoided buying a full container of spackle the other day when I only needed a tiny bit, and someone gave me a half-full jar of it. I’ve even started letting go of some of my treasured travel souvenirs and decor items I have no room to display. I’ve made friends and great connections. And so much stuff is saved from the landfill. I’m having so much fun participating in this group! Oh, and although there are no buy-sell posts, expressions of gratitude are encouraged. The good feelings and generosity seem to generate kindness above and beyond the giving and taking. Check it out. You might like it. You might find a home for that vase that no longer gives you “joy.”!
Linda, This sounds like a great idea, especially since it’s limited to one’s neighborhood. With some of my things, it really would be nice to know who is getting it.
Another great and similar resource we use is freecycle.org.
What a hoot! My family is always trying to get me to declutter. I once had a friend who had to take 6 months off from work to clear out her mother’s house after her death. When I get serious about decluttering, I’ll keep in mind you’re not interested in my papers/antiques/junk 🤗🌈. Joy
Thanks, Joy. And I’ll return the favor by not asking you if you want any of my cast-off handbags. Of course, if you want one of the bags in this photo, it will probably be hanging out in my garage for a couple months, until I get enough stuff collected to donate.
I look forward to your Sunday blog. I also have a drawer of purses, etc.
Right now I use the same functional handbag all the time. But — a wedding is coming up. I might get some use out of one of the fancy ones. Except none of them is capacious to hold all the stuff a woman carries around these days. See my handbag rant of 2013 at https://barbarafalconernewhall.com/2013/07/18/wanted-an-evening-handbag-thats-pretty-and-big-enough-to-do-the-job/