Barbara Falconer Newhall

Veteran journalist Barbara Falconer Newhall riffs on life as she knows it.

Living to 100 — And Then Some

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Living to 100 -- And Then Some david-and-ruth-falconer
Living to 100 — and then some: My paternal grandmother, Ruth Falconer, lived to within a few weeks of her 100th birthday. My grandfather, David Falconer, did not; but that didn’t stop me from making my plans. Barbara Newhall photo.

My original plan — first hatched in my 20s when I was young and fresh and full of big ideas — was to live to 100.

My grandmother was in her late nineties at the time. She was making good headway toward her hundredth birthday (which she ultimately missed by only a few weeks). If my grandmother could to make it to 100, I thought, so could I.

And Decades to Go Before I Sleep

Living to 100 meant there would be plenty of time for all the things I wanted to do and have: husband, children, career, house, a garden maybe.

The live-to-100 plan worked swimmingly for years. I took to visualizing my life in decades: 70 years left to live, 60, 50, 40, 30 and then, most recently, 20.

But now, here I am today, turning 84. My final decade will be coming up any minute. I can see the whites of its eyes.

This is a problem. Dying is bad enough. Dying without checking off the biggies on my to-list is unacceptable.

Acceptance — that’s the key word here.

The Zen of Acceptance

I’ve been working hard on accepting the news that — like Jon — I’m going to die one of these days. There’s a nice Zen-y feeling to tending to that part of my psyche.

What I’m not so good at, what I’m not ready to accept is — not getting everything done that I want to get done.

Living to 100 -- And Then Some backyard-retaining-walls
One big project fully completed — replacing the failing backyard retaining walls before they succumbed to gravity and slid down the hill. Photo by Barbara Newhall

And so, for now, I’m sticking by my to-do list. I’m embracing it. I’m going to get everything on it done or die trying.

Some items from the list:

  • Finish the book of essays I wrote back in the 20th century about being a woman who wanted it all — husband, kids, career. How am I doing? Did I get it all?
  • Get rid of stuff, clean closets, so my kids won’t have to do it when I’m gone. And that includes some beautiful stuff. The embroidered tablecloth from soviet-era Czechoslovakia. The hand-painted plate from Rothenburg ob der Tauber.
  • Publish the thriller novel that Jon finished just weeks before his death. Self-publish it? Look for an agent?
  • Put together the book about Jon that I’ve been composing bit by bit on this website since he died in 2021, the book that asks, where’s Jon?
Living to 100 — And Then Some

There’s a lot do. A lot. And I’m running out of time.

Well, what the heck. Who says I have to give up the ghost in sixteen years? Why not tweak the plan and give myself two more whole decades? Live to 104. Then call it a day.

More about my Grandma Falconer at “Kids Leave Home. They Just Do.”  More about a book project finished and published at “Wrestling with God.”

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Happy birthday! We could all be so lucky to be as sharp and full of vitality as you are, at your current age or at any age!

  2. You are an admirable woman. I admire your zest for life and living. I admire your to do list, and how you chip away at it.

    I live one day at a time. My to do list is to do something I thoroughly enjoy each day. That is my way of chipping away at my list every day.

    May we both chip away for many days to come. You can have many more days than me.

  3. Happy Birthday Barbara. May every day give you joy or some satisfying feeling of accomplishment.
    😊 Nancy