Why I’m Dumping My Travel Bucket List
The party was a noisy one, lots of people, lots of Prosecco. I was describing my recent travel adventures to a new acquaintance.
“You went to Provence?” she said. “Oh, I love Provence.”
“Providence,” I said. “Providence, Rhode Island. I was visiting friends.”
Her question gave me pause. I could have traveled someplace far more exotic than Providence last summer. Like Provence. Why didn’t I?
I could have walked the Avenue des Anglais instead of the halls of the Vanderbilt’s grand mansion at Newport.
I could have breathed in the purple fields of lavender outside the Abbaye Notre-Dame de Sénanque instead of the salvia and milkweed growing in my friend’s tiny French intensive garden.
Provence instead Providence.
The Penguins of the Antarctic
There was a time, not so long go, when the penguins of the Antarctic and the steps of Machu Picchu were were on my list of Things I Gotta Do Before I Kick the Bucket. It was an ambitious list: Bhutan. Mongolia. Madagascar. New Zealand. Bali. Lake Tanganyika.
But standing there the other night, chatting with this new acquaintance, I realized that somewhere between the pandemic and Jon’s death I began dumping out the contents of my travel bucket list.
I was 83 now and what I really wanted to do was spend time with old friends.
Friends who live in places like Austin, Traverse City, La Jolla, Knoxville, Grosse Pointe, New Orleans, Albuquerque.
A Trip Within a Trip
The Providence friends were old friends, really old.
The older the better, I say. Because there, at their dinner table, we could travel so far back in time together. Way back to 1967, just for starters, to the apartment on Manhattan’s Upper East Side where I introduced the two of them.
It was a trip within a trip, to a place faraway in time that was, and still is, every bit as lovely as the lavender fields of Provence.
Travel adventures in years past: “The Poop on China. And the Pee.” And “Is Istanbul Too Risky for You? Here’s What You’re Missing.”
I loved this post. Travel is exciting but I think it’s often over-romanticized as a way to spend one’s time, as opposed to building or maintaining relationships, which seem to matter more to life satisfaction in the end. Maybe a good solution, as you identified, is to travel to see friends, or travel WITH friends to new and exotic locales. Travel is fun, but it’s also often a hassle. I like that you’re paring down and sloughing off the bucket list. It gives me inspiration and permission to simplify as well. I can’t wait for you to write a book of wisdom and include snippets like this post.
There’s that part of life when young children limit how far and wide you can travel — and how well you can tend to friendships. They do grow up, and there’s another great moment in time when you can go off to the Galapagos one year and the Antarctic the next. You can also rediscover those old friends, who, it turns out, are as ready as you are to reconnect.
I’m with you all the way on this one!
I personally love the trip from my front hall, through my living room, past my new walnut fireplace mantel, and into my dining room, where I rediscover the gorgeous view from my new deck. I feel like my house is a work of art, one that I’m still working on.
One year I was going to Stockholm to start a trip. Patrick was going to Stockton to start a trial. It all seemed fair. xx eb
I love it. Thanks!
i’m delighted to see austin on your list of places to visit friends. anytime, barbara, anytime.
I know! Any time!
Barbie
At (almost ) 83 myself, I also find that travel is no longer as easy or as compelling as it used to be. I was delighted to see Albuquerque on your list of potential visits, though. Drop by the Land of Enchantment anytime! Ted
Ha! You found yourself!