As I pulled on my orange hiking shirt the other day, I realized that I had worn that self-same shirt once a month, give or take, for something like ten years.
The shirt isn’t good for much. It’s a cotton knit T-shirt, too embarrassingly faded to wear to the mall. Too tight and unyielding for yoga class. Too warm for Zumba.
A Very Good Shirt
But it’s a good shirt, a very good shirt, just the thing for a day in the woods with my hiking friend. Its long sleeves keep the sun off my arms. And it’s warm, but not too warm, perfect for the slopes and trails of Mt. Tamalpais and Point Reyes.
And in the event of an emergency — rattlesnake bite? broken ankle? — I can strip down and wave my orange shirt in the air at the rescue helicopter.
Once a month for ten years? That adds up to 120 wearings of my trusty orange shirt.
And if I’ve worn that shirt 120 times, that means I’ve passed 120 days in the woods with my hiking friend.
Tending a Friendship — With a Calendar
How did we manage to clock in so many days on the trail together? By paying attention to our calendars. We did it by setting ourselves a hiking date once a month, without fail, so that I’m on her calendar and she’s on mine.
We have come to depend on each other, my hiking friend and I. By the time a month has gone by, we are bursting with news, ideas and laments in need of a friendly ear.
It’s been quite a friendship. You can tell by my shirt.
More tales from the hiking trail at “What Is Beauty? It’s Seeing the World for the First Time — At Abbott’s Lagoon.” And about the hike I didn’t take: “Walk 1000 Miles Around Lake Michigan? She Did It. Now I Don’t Have To.”
perfect system. and point reyes!
🙂 Yes. Pt. Reyes. Lucky us.
Lovely.
Thank you, Kathleen.
This is inspiring. All relationships take work, and you and your friend are putting in the time. I’m at a stage of life in which my friends from childhood, college, and young adulthood are all busy with families and/or careers, as am I. But this is a reminder we need to be intentional about how we spend our time, and cultivating close friendships is one of the best uses of it.
I had very little time for friends, old and new, when my kids were little. I thought about that at the time with some regret and worry that I was losing them. The really interesting thing is, those friendships endured years of neglect and are now thriving. Including the friendship with my Hiking Friend, who dates back to my college years.