Jon loved sports. I didn’t. But I did love Jon. And so, early on, I saw that if I was to win the heart of Jon, the sports fan, I’d have to put some of my own heart into sports in general, and Jon’s teams in particular.
The baseball Giants, the football 49ers, the basketball Warriors — those were Jon’s teams, and eventually they became mine.
I don’t love sports, but I do like them. I like watching the Giants, the Niners and the Warriors. That is, I liked — past tense — watching those teams if Jon was right there with me, in front of the TV, his recliner across from mine, giving me a running commentary of the game as it went along.
Watching sports was fun — as long as Jon was there.
The Widow’s Life
But now, like it or not, a new life awaits me, a life without Jon to accompany me to weddings and retirement parties — and into the den to watch the Giants on TV.
What will fill my life now that I’m free to do pretty much anything I want?
The kids are grown. The house is mostly paid for. I don’t have to consider a husband’s idiosyncrasies. I can take that trip to Michilimackinac. I can track down my ancestors in Amsterdam.
I could sell the house and buy one closer to the grandchildren. I could move into an age 55-and-up community and take up golf. I could join a garden club, a hiking club. Another book club. I could sign up for my college alumni association.
I could be a sports fan.
The Warriors Make It to the NBA Finals
The question came to a head two days ago. The NBA finals were about to begin. The Warriors were meeting the Boston Celtics in San Francisco. The local paper had the news splashed all over the front cover of its sports section. I couldn’t miss it.
I had to ask myself. Am I sports fan. Or not? Do I care enough to sit down and watch this game? Are the Warriors my team? Or Jon’s?
There was only one way to find out — watch the game.
I did. With dreadful results. My team lost.
Now what to do? Watch another three, four, five, six, seven finals games? I don’t think so.
I hope the Warriors win the championship. I do. They’re my team. But, honestly, it’s just not that much fun watching them by myself.
More about Jon and sports at “My Guys Are Talking Football and All Is Right With the World.”
I hope you will become a chess fan and come with us to our annual mini-reunions at the National Open.
Good idea. I love hanging out with chess players.
Hi Barbara, your take makes sense to me, and I’m a sports fan. Part of the package in being a sports fan is sharing that interest with others. On the face of it, given everything going on in the world, caring deeply about whether a particular group of athletes (often well paid athletes who play for a mega-wealthy owner or corporation) win their game is an odd choice for investing one’s time and energy. Yet, I do, and a large part of it is because I’m connecting to others who share that interest. So, I’d say do what makes you happiest regarding the Giants, the Warriors, and the Niners. If following those teams only reminds you of Jon’s absence and makes you sad, don’t follow them. Maybe sub in an activity that is more your “own.”
Watching Wednesday night’s game 3 (with neighbors) felt like a really refreshing diversion from current events. So… I think it’s good to care about a team. It’s probably extremely good for our mental health.
i would have responded earlier but had to watch the french open. always loved talking sports with jon, a true fan who noticed details i might have missed. plus we shared the same teams.
maybe you’ll check in on the warriors, giants and niners once in a while with me.
A neighbor has taken pity on me and invited me over to watch the Warriors and Celtics. And — for the first time in history, I’ve taken to reading the Chronicle sports pages the morning after. Why, I want to know, did the Warriors fall apart in game one? And what kept them from blasting through to a win in game 3? Can it be that the Celtics are the better team?
I find myself hoping that that is the case — better to be beaten by a better team than to fall apart, mess up and not play your best. What would Jon say to that thought? Hmmm. He’d be miserable when he team lost. There was no consoling him.
Good to know I can call you up if I need to talk sports. Ha!
Same result with my basketball finals watching. I went to bed at halftime even though my favorite, Steph Curry, had his best first quarter ever…I just miss having my guy to laugh and oooh and ahhh with when he makes those tremendous three pointers. I can’t believe after more than a year my eyes still leak so much. Back to writing letters for “GetOutTheVote”and hope that our fragile system survives. You might try Pickle Ball which I did last week…really fun.
Pickle ball — I’ve had that recommended to me many times. But I was never much good at tennis, so I’m wondering whether I could my own with pickle ball. Yes, leaky eyes! I too am a little surprised that my feelings can be so strong and unweildy so many months later. I had to leave a Pilates class for a couple of minutes the other day because the trainer was playing Fleetwood Mac.