Long-time readers may have noticed that I went silent last Saturday — my normal posting day. That’s because we buried my husband last weekend, and during the days leading up to his interment, I was too worried to write.
I was grief-stricken. I was preoccupied with preparations for the interment. But mostly I was worried.
I worried that something would go horribly wrong at the interment. What if the caterer showed up late? Or not at all? What if the hors d’oeuvres were terrible or the table decorations dreary? Jon thought cut flowers were depressing, so on a whim I had ordered arrangements made of succulents and twigs, sight unseen. How would that go?
Most important, would everybody who said they’d be there make it to the cemetery during these covid times?
Underpinning all this worry was fear, fear that I would let Jon down, that this last thing that I could do for him would fall short, that I would fail him.
But on the day, somehow, magically, everything went as planned. Better than as planned. The food was terrific, the succulents and their twigs enchanting. The sun shone and the tablecloths –blue for the color of Jon’s eyes — wafted cheerfully in the wind.
Thirty-five close friends and family showed up at the cemetery, as promised. They came from the Bay Area and from as far away as the East Coast, the Midwest, Seattle, Montana and Southern California.
Together we gathered around Jon’s gravesite to say good-bye, then we proceeded to an outdoor reception to tell our Jon stories.
Jon was gone. But so many people who loved him, and who love me, were there.
Which is how, to my surprise, the day I had so dreaded turned out to be so beautiful.
At the reception under a tent, people were invited to tell their Jon stories. Jon’s niece Lindsey had kind — and funny — words for her uncle. Video by Matthew Yarbrough
Barbara, I haven’t seen you since Graduation Day at Michigan in 1963, however I’ve read about your writings in the Yodler upon occasion. I just finished reading the Yodler on line for the first time, and read that your husband, Jon, had passed. I’m so sorry, and wanted to send my condolences to you.
Barbara Fortenbacher Lundquist
Oh, my! It’s wonderful to hear from you, Barb. Thank you so much for being there. There is a lot to read on this website — about husband, kids, and beautiful Michigan.
Hi Barbara, Haven’t been in touch for a long time and rarely on Facebook. So sorry to hear about Jon. I’m sure it was a lovely day and he knew you would do all the right things. Sending best thoughts and hugs. David Stirrat
Hi David. So nice to hear from you. How is the writing going? I’d love to know!
Glad that all went well, and he was appropriately honored!
Thank you! The day felt complete.
It was a perfect day. Jon is proud.
Jon is proud. Thank you!
I am so happy that your day honoring Jon was everything you hoped it would be. I’m sure he was pleased, honored and enjoyed the rememberances given by all.
Knowing Jon, he especially would have enjoyed the stories told at the reception at his expense. They will not be repeated publicly here!
Dear Barbara
We were honored to be present. The burial was at once, sad, touching, warm and generous. Jon would have loved it.
love to you
Nancy
Yes. I think it was a Jon kind of day. Good friends. Good food. A few tears. And lots of laughs.
I am so very happy that all went well for you & others who loved your husband. May the memories of this day bless and comfort you every day. We cherish your life and send you hands of friendship and love. 💕💕💕🙏🌈. Joy
Thank you for your ongoing affection and support. It means a lot!
I’m so happy that this turned out so beautifully Barbara! It is a milestone on the way to a new life, but you will not go without Jon, he will be with you in your heart and in your mind all the rest of the way.
Much love
Jon is not a forgettable guy, that’s for sure.
Barbara, I thought the service was thoughtful, touching and funny (where appropriate.). I think Jon would have approved. Very well done.
Yes. I think Jon would have enjoyed the event — the good company, the family, the jokes at his expense — as much as any of us. I was so afraid that it wouldn’t do him justice — but, actually, it was you and all the other people who made it so wonderful. Thank you!