Some mornings I wake up with a sinking feeling in my stomach — it’s going to be another terrible day without Jon. My husband has died, and there’s not a darned thing I can do about it.
Other mornings I wake up hopeful. I remember that I have something to look forward to. Something with a future.
Feet on the Floor
I put my feet on the floor and look out the window — a beautiful thing is happening in my backyard. My lovely old bricks are being brought back to life.
Video by Peter Rivera
Peter the contractor and his hard-working crew have made short work of demolishing the crumbling, 60-year-old brick staircase in our back yard. And for the past few weeks they’ve been putting it back together — way nicer than it ever was.
Peter and I talk about things. The bricks — how shall we lay them out? The pile of moss rocks — shall we use the small ones to border the staircase? Or the big ones?
The Widow Laughs
We ponder the rocks, we change our mind, we change our mind again — together. We laugh at ourselves changing that mind of ours.
Down in the backyard, standing in the dust, I wonder: I’m a brand-new widow. How is it possible that I am laughing?
I don’t know the answer. I go ahead and laugh.
Read about “Our Living Room Makeover — We Made Do With Our Old Stuff.”
Your bricks look wonderful. Peter and you are doing a great job. And, yes, it’s OK to laugh. Some things are just funny!
Ann (also a widow)
Right!
I loved hearing your laugh in the video. It is a good thing.
It was the contractor who was laughing. But he’s one of the people who can make me laugh these days!