My husband is gone. Does that mean that the fun projects we’d been planning for months and months will be forgotten?
Will our cypress tree go untrimmed? Will the patio garden lie fallow and disorderly? Will the brick stairs in the back yard keep on crumbling and tumbling down the hill?
Ever since our remodel drew to a close last year, I’ve been itching to get our trees trimmed. Especially that one cypress branch — the one that blocks the view of the San Francisco Bay from our dining room table.
Side by Side and Elbow to Elbow
Even without the trees trimmed, the view from our dining room was so compelling that Jon and I eventually fell into the habit of having breakfast and lunch sitting elbow to elbow on the same side of the table — the side with the view.
(At dinnertime Jon and I sat across from each other — a nod to formality, but also to the fact that the sun had set and our lovely, comforting view had gone dark.)
But now it was just me sitting at the breakfast table. And that clumpy cypress branch still blocked the best part of the view.
The DMV and the IRS
I don’t feel like doing much these days. Not the paperwork at the bank, the IRS, the Social Security Administration, the DMV. Not the mailing of the death certificates.
But last week I did feel like getting those trees trimmed.
I called the tree trimmers. They came. They talked. They listened. They trimmed the trees exactly the way I wanted them: two Monterey cypresses, one goofy, limby oak tree, and a passel of polite, but lusty, branches hanging over our neighbor’s fence and into our yard.
They let me take their pictures.
At the end of the day, the trees were everything I’d hoped they’d be.
A Mossy Limb
And now, from time to time as I move through the day, one of the mossy branches of our cypress tree will catch my eye and hold my my attention. And for a minute I can forget that my husband is gone. For a minute, life feels like life.
That’s how beautiful a tree can be.
More about that remodel at “Our Remodel Has Kept Us Company — We’ll Miss the Carpenters, the Electricians and the Pile Drivers.” Also, “Window Treatment Sticker Shock.”
In this video you can see a second tree trimmer in the background working on the other Monterey cypress. My favorite part of our tree is the graceful, mossy limbs. Video by Barbara Newhall
Beautiful piece. I have been thinking about you, Peter, and Christina during this difficult time. Miss you guys. Big hugs and much love. -Liz
Thanks for the hugs, Liz. I like that they are big ones.
Barbara, this documentary brings back memories I had forgotten about the neat growth in your backyard vegetation. I’m looking forwarding to coming back and enjoying the view of the Bay.
Looking forward to your visit. Yea!
Oh, Barb, such a heavy feeling at the same time.
Thanks, Sharie. Sending a big hug your way.
Yes, the see-saw between onerous tasks that must be done and are reminders of loss, and your strength to initiate others that lead to pleasure and a sense of accomplishment and respite from sadness. I loved reading and hearing the sounds of this story, and I’m proud of you..
Ann
Thank you, Ann. Good to know that my high school pal is proud of me. It means a lot!
This is really a very lovely piece Barbara, and I enjoyed it very much ….really very much!
I wonder, in light of recent events, if you find yourself at times, perhaps especially yesterday during Prince Phillip’s service, if the queen shares any of the thoughts and experiences and wondering‘s that you have experienced in the last several weeks.
I know this is been a very difficult time, And I wish I could have helped some, but you have a wonderful circle of friends obviously and it may be painful but it certainly appears or sounds as if you are doing your mourning very well.
Should you however ever ever ever desire to just chat I would be so very happy to help.
God Bless!!!
Thanks so much for being there, Jim. It helps! Yes. I have been feeling Queen Elizabeth’s pain. Especially touching, the photo of her sitting alone, her new state, at the funeral.
I am sorry for your loss. Great piece. I was reminded of the Enya song, The Memory of Trees. Love your website too. Mine is pretty wimpy right now but I’ll share it anyway. Best, Ann L
Thank you, Ann. I took a peek at your website. You’ve done the hardest part, which is just getting up and running. Now, just write. And write some more.