Sheltering at Home. Week 13. June 10, 2020
Yes, you can do it. You can entertain the grandkids and give your frazzled children a break — even if you live on a canyon in Northern California and the kids are 2,000 miles away in a bungalow in the Midwest.
Babysitting via webcam? Our son Peter has figured out how to make it happen.
Often the phone call comes mid-afternoon. It’s 3:30 p.m. in California. Jon is working away on his novel. I’m emailing our contractor.
But back in the Midwest, it’s the arsenic hour, the last hour or two before
dinnertime. In my experience as a mother, it’s called the arsenic hour because that’s when the kids are hungry, cranky and falling apart. And Mom and Dad are hungry, cranky and falling apart along with them.
I imagine that if you are a mom or dad in these COVID-19 lock-down days, you are extra cranky. You’re trying to get dinner on while sending off one last email to your client. The children have maxed out on their TV for the day. They’re too frazzled to play quietly by themselves.
What to do?
Babysitting Via Webcam
If you’re Peter Newhall in a bungalow in the Great Midwest, you call your mom and dad in California.
“Would you guys like to Skype for a while?” he says over our landline.
“When?” Jon asks. He’s hoping the Skyping will happen later in the day, after he’s made a little more progress on his novel.
“Right now?” Peter says.
Jon shouts downstairs to Barbara. “Barbara, Peter wants to Skype.”
Barbara, like her husband, drops everything. She heads upstairs to Jon’s office. Jon opens Skype and — there is Grandchild No. 1, age 4, ready for play time with Grandpa Jon and Grandma B. In the background, crawling around on the playroom floor, is Grandchild No. 2, fresh from her first birthday, looking for stuff to wrap her fingers around.
It’s the Arsenic Hour
When Peter and his sister were little, I’d sit them in front of the living room TV for the arsenic hour. Let them watch Sesame Street or Mr. Rogers while I threw together dinner.
I put healthy snacks — carrot slices or cut up apples — in front of them, while I dug into the bag of corn chips we kept next to the kitchen TV. I worked on a newspaper, so the kitchen TV was tuned to the news, which seemed pretty dire at the time. But nothing like 2020 dire.
Our granddaughters won’t have Mr. Rogers to soothe them till dinner time today. They’ve used up their screen time for the day. But, thanks to 21st-century technology, they have Grandpa Jon and Grandma B.
Grandpa Jon plays Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle with Grandchild No. 1 and patty-cake with No. 2.
Grandma B pretends she’s The Library Lady. She reads from books with big, Skype-able pictures.
Are We Real — Or Just a Couple of Flattened Faces?
The dog walks in and out of the playroom, ignoring the noisy faces on the screen. Our faces mean nothing to the dog.
But No. 1 Granddaughter knows exactly who we are. She remembers our house in California and the cat next door. She remembers that Grandpa Jon will take off his glasses and turn himself into a goofy, blustery Grandpa Bob if she asks him to.
When he does, she giggles.
As for little No. 2, she might not know exactly who those people are on the screen. But each time she catches sight of us during her rambles around the playroom, her face lights up. She crawls over to the screen and pulls herself up for a closer look. She gazes at us. She smiles. She’s only twelve months old, but we mean something to her.
On that screen, Jon and I are two dimensional. Our faces are washed out by the sunlight coming through the window in Jon’s office. The WIFI connection slips from time to time, and our voices go wobbly. Our faces freeze.
But, no matter, we’re in the basement of a bungalow in the Great Midwest, right in the middle of the arsenic hour, playing with our grandchildren. They believe it. And so do we.
More thoughts on grandparents and grandparenting at: “A Child Is Born and So Is a Grandpa.” Also, “Peter’s Fast-Track Grandma.” Memories of my own, very Midwestern grandmother at: “Where Jury Duty Is an Exercise in Mindfulness.”
This was such a beautiful and hopeful post. I loved reading about how you are using your time and technology to connect with your grandchildren so far away. Jon’s “Grandpa Bob” sounds like it would make me laugh too. What a great and positive way to incorporate screens into your grandchildren’s lives. And Sesame Street and Mister Rogers, both excellent choices for quality television. I’d love to buy the full Mister Rogers DVD set to play for my daughter eventually. And then Bill Nye when she’s a little older. The Library Lady also sounds like so much fun. Your grandkids (and Peter!) are lucky to have you. Makes me wish my parents were a little more tech-savvy!
Peter’s little sister is visiting this week and we had a family Skype yesterday afternoon. We have found, actually, that one great way to video chat with the grandkids is to do it while they are having dinner. That keeps them occupied, while at the same time they can “visit” with us. I didn’t know a Mr. Rogers DVD set was available. Thanks for the tip.